I have never been so ready to close out a year as I have 2022. This year has been full of heartache, loss, hurt, and depression. I usually set a word of the year and I can honestly say I can’t even remember what I chose. Any goal I had for myself was pretty much lost early.
January 2022, I had high hopes for what was to come in the year. I was going to start up a business. I was working and homeschooling and my husband was increasing his business. Things seemed to be on track. Until the unexpected passing of my brother. It hit me harder than I ever imagined. Then again I had never lost a sibling. Sibling loss is harder than people think.
I tried hard to keep myself afloat but it was overwhelming as I just didn’t know what to do with my emotions. I started living in a fog. I no longer was able to keep working and homeschool my children, the amount of energy it took mentally, emotionally, and physically was too much for me. However, homeschooling is a priority for my husband and me. I am so thankful that he is on the same page with that choice for our children. After much discussion and prayer, I resigned from my job.
To say things got easier is untrue. I felt like I was drifting in the ocean, some days were easy. On other days the emotions and depression weighed me down like a ton of bricks. I began to retreat into prayer and quiet time with God a lot. I would sit outside and just pray. I would sit inside and just pray. Everyday tasks became so difficult and exhausting. I kept my focus on taking care of my family and in doing so other tasks fell to the wayside and took longer to accomplish.
Many are probably thinking I should have reached out for help from others. There were several times my husband would say he was going to complete a task that I was slow in getting to but I told him “no, I will do it.” This was important for me as a part of my healing. I needed to find the person I was before and yup things didn’t look cookie-cutter neat for a bit.
As I continue to heal by walking alongside God and in His word, things began to look less foggy. The desire to get things accomplished and done has begun to return. God and my faith in Him have always been great in my life since accepting Jesus. But through this year I have developed an even stronger relationship with Jesus. One that has grown strong through prayer and healing.
This is not to say, there were not some good times in 2022 because I do have a few good memories. But I am looking forward to time with my family, watching my children continue to grow, helping my husband grow his business, and continuing to grow in my walk with the Lord.
The Life We Build 